So, it\u2019s about that time: you\u2019re getting more and more comfortable with your new partner, so naturally, it feels right to introduce them to your teenager. However; you may have some worries embedded deep in the back of your mind: What if they don\u2019t like each other? What if your child takes it badly? How will that affect your relationship with that great new person that you\u2019ve been looking forward to settling down with?<\/p>\n
Having doubts is completely natural, and there really is no need to worry. After all, if your teenager can see that you\u2019re happy, they should be happy too! Teenagers are known for being less than rational at the best of times, though, which is why you might be looking for some pointers to make the meeting as smooth as possible.<\/p>\n
There are a couple of things that you\u2019ll need to consider before the initial introduction, such as the timing and the pacing of the impending discussion. Once these preparations have been made, you\u2019ll be ready to identify the perfect script to guide that uneasy conversation!<\/p>\n
The best time to introduce your new partner is when you are certain that your relationship is comfortable and stable: you should be certain that you have a long-term, sustainable future together. Similarly, you should make sure that your child is happy \u2013 you may not wish to distract them from any important events in their own life or cause any additional stress.<\/p>\n
Once you\u2019re sure that you and your partner are set to enjoy a long future together, it\u2019s time to consider the pacing. Do you want to slowly break them into the idea of a new partner, or effectively rip the Band-Aid off? You know your children better than anyone else, so really, this should be based on their individual needs.<\/p>\n
The 3 Best Scripts to Make the Meeting as Painless as Possible<\/strong><\/h5>\nNow that you\u2019ve set the date in stone and you\u2019re finally ready for your partner and your teenager to meet, it\u2019s time to find a script that suits the situation. Luckily, we have exactly that: well-thought-out scripts that will streamline the process, alleviating the tension between everyone there.<\/p>\n
It’s important to keep in mind that if your child witnessed you being hurt in a previous relationship, despite how you phrase it they’ll likely be protective of you and may not necessarily want your new partner around.<\/p>\n
Keep the lines of communication wide open and encourage your new partner not to take this personally. You need to be aware of this and discuss it with your child, no matter how old they are.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/gossip-conversation-group-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(425 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 1″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Script 1 | The Dinner Introduction<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n <\/p>\n
Make sure your teen and partner are both free on the same evening and plan a meal \u2013 it doesn\u2019t need to be a fancy or expensive one. In fact, your favorite pizza place might work best! Don\u2019t feel like you have to go out, either. If you\u2019d prefer to be in the comfort of your own home, then feel free to do so.<\/p>\n
\nSo, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s not much of a secret, but I\u2019ve recently begun seeing someone. We\u2019re both very happy together and are learning a lot from each other.<\/strong><\/h5>\nIt would mean a lot to me if you two would meet \u2013 I\u2019d love for you to form some kind of relationship. I\u2019ve booked a meal tonight.<\/strong><\/h5>\n[Insert Name] will be there too, so it would be a good opportunity for you to meet \u2013 if you\u2019re not ready, though, don\u2019t feel like you have to.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\nThis conversation is all about neutrality; you\u2019re pushing the idea that you\u2019d love for your teenager to meet your new partner. What makes this a great starting point is that it’s relaxed and gives your teen an easy out.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re accepting that they might not be ready to meet someone new and giving them an option to simply not go along. As you are, however, implying that you would be much happier if they were to meet, your teen will be more likely to go out for the suggested meal.<\/p>\n
Another great factor of using this is that it suggests that you\u2019ve not been keeping secrets from anyone by playing the benefit of the doubt with \u201cI\u2019m sure it\u2019s not much of a secret\u201d \u2013 this may warm your child up to the idea of meeting your new partner.<\/p>\n
The statement also really shows your teen how happy you have been, reinforcing the notion that it is, in fact, a good thing.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/people-talking-never-right-word.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”Copyright and Affiliate Links Notice” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”1.8em” global_module=”10507″ locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
Script 2 | Introducing Your Partner to Multiple Teenagers<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n <\/p>\n
Introducing your partner to one teenager can be hard enough, let alone multiple! The following script is optimized to introduce a partner to more than one teenager if you\u2019re not able to do so individually:<\/p>\n
\nSo what would you guys think about me meeting someone new?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\nThough it might seem simple, this can be an incredibly powerful question. Rather than telling your teens that you\u2019re already seeing someone new, you\u2019re introducing them to the idea with a friendly, conversational starter.<\/p>\n
Obviously, this question will imply to them that you are already seeing someone, though it doesn\u2019t necessarily confirm anything. It does, however, allow you to gauge an appropriate segue into an introduction based on their reaction to your question.<\/p>\n
Chances are, your children will be excited by the idea of you seeing someone new, especially if you\u2019ve been single for a long period of time. You can use this excitement to your advantage by positively breaking the news that you are already in a relationship.<\/p>\n
If your children are against you seeing anyone else, it can throw a spanner in the work \u2013 don\u2019t be dissuaded, though, as the response will allow you to understand exactly how your teenagers are feeling and might even lead to further conversations that address why they are against the idea.<\/p>\n
Some children may be concerned about their own needs being met and you need to listen to what their fears may be. Then, reassure them that you are still there to meet their needs as best you can.<\/p>\n
One major advantage of asking this question is that it puts your children (for the most part) in control of the conversation \u2013 this can then take a lot of pressure away from you, allowing you to think of or prepare engaging responses to guide the remainder of the talk.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/young-girl-walking-dog-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 3″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Script 3 | What to Say If There\u2019s an Ex Present?<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n <\/p>\n
Some situations will call for a more tactful approach, such as when there is still an ex-partner present that your teenager is close with. Whilst it might appear somewhat clich\u00e9, your teen may be holding out hope for a \u2018reunion\u2019 \u2013 this is especially true when they are close to both parents.<\/p>\n
In an ideal situation, your ex will already be aware that you\u2019re involved with someone new. This can then pave the way for the following conversation:<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019ve spoken to your mom and we both agree that it\u2019s time to tell you: I\u2019ve begun to see someone else. Her name is Mary, and she\u2019s a nurse \u2013 I think you\u2019ll like her. I\u2019m inviting her round for dinner, as I\u2019d really like for you to meet.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n\nI know you\u2019re still close to your mom, but we\u2019re both moving on with our lives and want only what is best for each other.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\nThis is one of the more difficult conversations to have, as it can sometimes feel like you\u2019re betraying your children. You shouldn\u2019t worry though, as this is a fantastic talking point that will appeal to your teen due to the positive message it delivers.<\/p>\n
By using this phrasing, you\u2019re letting your teen know that both you and the co-parent are happy with the decision, whilst reinforcing the idea that moving on is healthy. It can also give them a refreshing overview of how relationships work, setting them up for their own future.<\/p>\n
One of the most useful aspects of this script is that it recognizes that your teenager might struggle with the notion of you moving on, by highlighting the fact that they are still close with the other parent. It then goes on to remedy this by saying that it\u2019s a good outcome for both parents, as it is within everyone\u2019s best interests.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe want only what is best for each other\u201d<\/strong> is a great way to show your teenager that both parents still care about each other, potentially defusing any tension or anger.<\/p>\n
It’s a better tactic to discuss the first meeting with your teenager, your ex, and your new partner separately. Acknowledge what they feel and try to understand both perspectives. Be careful not to dismiss feelings as this will discourage the person from being honest with you in the future. Use the second meeting to try to deal with any negative feelings.<\/p>\n
In an ideal world the second meeting needs to be relaxed but with more opportunity for your teen\/s and new partner to get to know each other. After a few meetings, you may be ready to invite your partner around for a meal in your home. Ensure your child is involved and knows that your new partner is coming to see everyone but you would also like to spend some alone time as a couple.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/happy-people-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(430 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Finally, remember that everyone needs to cooperate if your new relationship is to work. Your teenager can set a precedent for their own relationships by seeing you have a healthy and respectful relationship after a relationship breakdown.<\/p>\n
It would do them a great deal of good to have a powerful example of how we can move on to better once we’ve decided to go for it. Problems may still arise but if you sit down and talk about things as they occur, involving everyone, things are more likely to be resolved.<\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We\u2019d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
Make sure your teen and partner are both free on the same evening and plan a meal \u2013 it doesn\u2019t need to be a fancy or expensive one. In fact, your favorite pizza place might work best! Don\u2019t feel like you have to go out, either. If you\u2019d prefer to be in the comfort of your own home, then feel free to do so.<\/p>\n
\nSo, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s not much of a secret, but I\u2019ve recently begun seeing someone. We\u2019re both very happy together and are learning a lot from each other.<\/strong><\/h5>\n
It would mean a lot to me if you two would meet \u2013 I\u2019d love for you to form some kind of relationship. I\u2019ve booked a meal tonight.<\/strong><\/h5>\n
[Insert Name] will be there too, so it would be a good opportunity for you to meet \u2013 if you\u2019re not ready, though, don\u2019t feel like you have to.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This conversation is all about neutrality; you\u2019re pushing the idea that you\u2019d love for your teenager to meet your new partner. What makes this a great starting point is that it’s relaxed and gives your teen an easy out.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re accepting that they might not be ready to meet someone new and giving them an option to simply not go along. As you are, however, implying that you would be much happier if they were to meet, your teen will be more likely to go out for the suggested meal.<\/p>\n
Another great factor of using this is that it suggests that you\u2019ve not been keeping secrets from anyone by playing the benefit of the doubt with \u201cI\u2019m sure it\u2019s not much of a secret\u201d \u2013 this may warm your child up to the idea of meeting your new partner.<\/p>\n
The statement also really shows your teen how happy you have been, reinforcing the notion that it is, in fact, a good thing.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/people-talking-never-right-word.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”Copyright and Affiliate Links Notice” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”1.8em” global_module=”10507″ locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
Script 2 | Introducing Your Partner to Multiple Teenagers<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
Introducing your partner to one teenager can be hard enough, let alone multiple! The following script is optimized to introduce a partner to more than one teenager if you\u2019re not able to do so individually:<\/p>\n
\nSo what would you guys think about me meeting someone new?<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Though it might seem simple, this can be an incredibly powerful question. Rather than telling your teens that you\u2019re already seeing someone new, you\u2019re introducing them to the idea with a friendly, conversational starter.<\/p>\n
Obviously, this question will imply to them that you are already seeing someone, though it doesn\u2019t necessarily confirm anything. It does, however, allow you to gauge an appropriate segue into an introduction based on their reaction to your question.<\/p>\n
Chances are, your children will be excited by the idea of you seeing someone new, especially if you\u2019ve been single for a long period of time. You can use this excitement to your advantage by positively breaking the news that you are already in a relationship.<\/p>\n
If your children are against you seeing anyone else, it can throw a spanner in the work \u2013 don\u2019t be dissuaded, though, as the response will allow you to understand exactly how your teenagers are feeling and might even lead to further conversations that address why they are against the idea.<\/p>\n
Some children may be concerned about their own needs being met and you need to listen to what their fears may be. Then, reassure them that you are still there to meet their needs as best you can.<\/p>\n
One major advantage of asking this question is that it puts your children (for the most part) in control of the conversation \u2013 this can then take a lot of pressure away from you, allowing you to think of or prepare engaging responses to guide the remainder of the talk.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/young-girl-walking-dog-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 3″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Script 3 | What to Say If There\u2019s an Ex Present?<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
Some situations will call for a more tactful approach, such as when there is still an ex-partner present that your teenager is close with. Whilst it might appear somewhat clich\u00e9, your teen may be holding out hope for a \u2018reunion\u2019 \u2013 this is especially true when they are close to both parents.<\/p>\n
In an ideal situation, your ex will already be aware that you\u2019re involved with someone new. This can then pave the way for the following conversation:<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019ve spoken to your mom and we both agree that it\u2019s time to tell you: I\u2019ve begun to see someone else. Her name is Mary, and she\u2019s a nurse \u2013 I think you\u2019ll like her. I\u2019m inviting her round for dinner, as I\u2019d really like for you to meet.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nI know you\u2019re still close to your mom, but we\u2019re both moving on with our lives and want only what is best for each other.<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This is one of the more difficult conversations to have, as it can sometimes feel like you\u2019re betraying your children. You shouldn\u2019t worry though, as this is a fantastic talking point that will appeal to your teen due to the positive message it delivers.<\/p>\n
By using this phrasing, you\u2019re letting your teen know that both you and the co-parent are happy with the decision, whilst reinforcing the idea that moving on is healthy. It can also give them a refreshing overview of how relationships work, setting them up for their own future.<\/p>\n
One of the most useful aspects of this script is that it recognizes that your teenager might struggle with the notion of you moving on, by highlighting the fact that they are still close with the other parent. It then goes on to remedy this by saying that it\u2019s a good outcome for both parents, as it is within everyone\u2019s best interests.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe want only what is best for each other\u201d<\/strong> is a great way to show your teenager that both parents still care about each other, potentially defusing any tension or anger.<\/p>\n
It’s a better tactic to discuss the first meeting with your teenager, your ex, and your new partner separately. Acknowledge what they feel and try to understand both perspectives. Be careful not to dismiss feelings as this will discourage the person from being honest with you in the future. Use the second meeting to try to deal with any negative feelings.<\/p>\n
In an ideal world the second meeting needs to be relaxed but with more opportunity for your teen\/s and new partner to get to know each other. After a few meetings, you may be ready to invite your partner around for a meal in your home. Ensure your child is involved and knows that your new partner is coming to see everyone but you would also like to spend some alone time as a couple.<\/p>\n
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Finally, remember that everyone needs to cooperate if your new relationship is to work. Your teenager can set a precedent for their own relationships by seeing you have a healthy and respectful relationship after a relationship breakdown.<\/p>\n
It would do them a great deal of good to have a powerful example of how we can move on to better once we’ve decided to go for it. Problems may still arise but if you sit down and talk about things as they occur, involving everyone, things are more likely to be resolved.<\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We\u2019d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!<\/p>\n
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