[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
It generally doesn’t go well when you tell a friend you don’t like their significant other, so what do you do when your back’s against the wall? It can be extremely difficult when we see someone we deeply care about in a relationship with somebody we dislike. Situations like these have the potential to cause serious damage to your friendship, so they must be tackled with sensitivity and diplomacy.<\/strong><\/p>\n
If you don’t like your friend’s new partner and you’ve been asked for your opinion it’s probably a good idea, to be honest. The question is to what extent? For some situations, the decision to say something can be fairly straightforward. For example, if you suspect that the relationship has the potential to, or has graduated into the toxic territory, you should say something.<\/p>\n
Many of us would suggest that if you don’t like your friend’s significant other because you are sensing controlling or abusive behavior you need to speak up. But for those of us in the ‘grey area’, there are a number of variables in terms of what can and cannot be controlled. It\u2019s easy to see why people have difficulty knowing how to respond in this scenario.<\/p>\n
Sometimes we really have to decide whether or not saying something is going to have the desired outcome. Will saying something help? Will they listen? Will it ruin your relationship? There is a risk of a potential disruption in your relationship, no matter what you choose. Not because of you and your relationship, but because of the behavior of their partner, which is out of your control.<\/p>\n
So, if your friend asks you what you think of their significant other, we’ve got some suggestions of what you can say below:<\/strong><\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
\nThey\u2019re okay. I mean, I don\u2019t really know them. I\u2019m just glad that you\u2019re happy!<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nI sense that the dynamic of the group shifts when we are all together. This is normal, but perhaps we can spend a little bit of time together with just us from time to time?<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nPerhaps in time we will get to know each other better? I know how nerve-wracking it can be to meet your partner’s friends.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
It\u2019s okay to not like your friend\u2019s partner; we can\u2019t like everyone that we meet! The problem is that if you tell your friend that you don\u2019t like who they\u2019re seeing, you risk straining your relationship with your friend.<\/p>\n
When someone \u2013 especially a close friend \u2013 asks you what you think about their partner, most of the time, they\u2019re honestly only fishing for compliments. They want to show off how great their new partner is, to have you singing their praises\u2026<\/p>\n
If you tell them that you\u2019re not too impressed or that you just don\u2019t like their new partner, it can cause a rift in your relationship. Sometimes it\u2019s best to just let it go; as long as it\u2019s not a harmful or toxic relationship, it doesn\u2019t necessarily affect you. Your priority should be making sure that your friend is happy!<\/p>\n
The good thing about this script is that you largely remain neutral. Whilst you\u2019re not confirming that you\u2019re mad about your friend\u2019s new partner, you\u2019re not really stating that you dislike them.<\/p>\n
By saying that you just don\u2019t know them, you\u2019re not ruling out the possibility of warming up to them in the future.<\/p>\n
Above all, it\u2019s important that you reassure your friend that you\u2019re happy for them.<\/p>\n
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2 | The Honest Approach<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
\nHonestly\u2026 I’m not too sure about them. I don\u2019t think you\u2019ve been the same person since you\u2019ve been with them, and I think your new partner has a negative influence on you. Obviously, I don\u2019t know them as well as you do, so I\u2019m not seeing them in the same way, but as long as you\u2019re happy\u2026<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Sometimes you just can\u2019t help how you feel about someone. Whilst you should generally try to avoid telling your friend that you don\u2019t like their new partner, if it is inevitable, you may wish to just be honest.<\/p>\n
Your friend will probably appreciate the honesty; they obviously value your opinion. If you\u2019re especially close, you may not typically try to hide anything from each other, so your friend would expect you to be completely and brutally honest anyway.<\/p>\n
What makes this script ideal is that it\u2019s passive and non-confrontational. You\u2019re not just stating an open dislike for your friend\u2019s partner; you\u2019re justifying it by saying that they\u2019re having a negative influence on your friend.<\/p>\n
Another great reason to use this script is that it doesn\u2019t attempt to convince your friend to leave their partner. It acknowledges that they\u2019re happy, which is all that should really matter.<\/p>\n
Similar to the above script, this also hints at the fact that you could warm up to your friend\u2019s partner in the future. You explain that you don\u2019t know them as well as your friend does, and you only see one side of their relationship. By confirming that you don\u2019t see them in the same way, you\u2019re being mature enough to notice both sides of the coin.<\/p>\n
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Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
3 |<\/strong> The Confrontational Approach<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
\nI just wanted to let you know that I really don\u2019t like how [Partner\u2019s Name] treats you. I think they put you down\/treat you badly\/aren\u2019t very good for you\/other reason, and I\u2019ve noticed that you\u2019ve not been yourself since you\u2019ve been seeing them.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nI understand that my perspective might skewed because I have my own standards of what I think is acceptable (and I’m also well aware that I am not in the relationship myself), but this is what I’m seeing from a third party perspective. If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here for you without judgement.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
If you do choose to be honest with your friend and admit that you don\u2019t like their partner, it\u2019s absolutely important to explain why. Naturally, your friend will see their partner through rose-tinted glasses, so they might be oblivious to any problematic behavior or red flags.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t like their partner, it\u2019s probably with good reason. This script is a great choice for when you need to call out any issues or make your friend aware of any concerning behavior.<\/p>\n
It allows you to show your friend that you care about them by using non-threatening language and expressing concern at the situation \u2013 it\u2019s a script that is designed to bring you closer to your friend, or to get them to open up to you in ways they otherwise might not.<\/p>\n
This script is great because it doesn\u2019t outright say that you don\u2019t like your friend\u2019s new partner; rather that you just don\u2019t like the way that they treat your friend.<\/p>\n
You can prove to your friend that you respect them and that you only want what is best for them. It also allows you to remind them that you are there whenever they might need it, without putting any pressure on them at all.<\/p>\n
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4 |<\/strong> They Make You Uncomfortable<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
\nIf I’m honest, I feel uncomfortable when I’m around this person.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n
If you tell your friend that you like a new partner, you start to run the risk that they\u2019ll be invited to all of your social situations. There\u2019s nothing worse than being exposed to PDA on the bleachers!<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t want to outright admit that you don\u2019t actually like your friend\u2019s new partner, you might consider using this script. Whilst it is quite simple, it has a heavy, lasting impact that usually doesn\u2019t prompt any further questions.<\/p>\n
This is a good way to simply imply that you don\u2019t like someone without having to say it directly. It could be a good way to break the tension between yourself and a new friend that you don\u2019t quite know yet or someone with who you\u2019re familiar but not entirely comfortable.<\/p>\n
When you tell someone that their partner makes you uncomfortable, they will try to limit your interactions. It will likely have an impact on the relationship between you and your friend, which is why you shouldn\u2019t consider using this script on someone you\u2019re especially close to.<\/p>\n
If anything, this is a good response to dance around the subject!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We\u2019d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!<\/p>\n
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