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{"id":58301,"date":"2020-06-02T19:08:08","date_gmt":"2020-06-02T18:08:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nevertherightword.com\/?p=58301"},"modified":"2021-05-24T14:17:58","modified_gmt":"2021-05-24T13:17:58","slug":"how-to-re-attract-a-dismissive-avoidant-ex-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/how-to-re-attract-a-dismissive-avoidant-ex-back\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Re-attract a Dismissive Avoidant Ex Back"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″ locked=”off”][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n

With the recent pandemic, many couples have found themselves questioning the health of their romantic relationships. If things have recently plateaued with your (suspected dismissive-avoidant) significant other, you’re probably feeling incredibly frustrated with the seeming intimacy- inducing circumstances producing little to no fruit (if you’re quarantining together that is).<\/p>\n

This article responds to a recent topic request from our reader who asks: what steps or strategies can I adopt to reattract a Dismissive Avoidant ex back, to see if a new relationship could be possible?<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Great question.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
In short, we would recommend the following actions to reattract a dismissive-avoidant ex. First, understand what dismissive-avoidant attachment is, the thought patterns behind it, and your partner’s needs.\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n
Next, identify and work on YOUR attachment style. What are your relationship needs, and are these compatible with your partners? Can you genuinely accept your partner’s need for independence?<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n
Next, you need to be direct with your intentions and personal boundaries. Game playing will push a dismissive-avoidant away. You’ll need to prove to your partner that you can love and accept them exactly as they are. <\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n
We’re going to cover these steps in detail and more in the rest of this article. <\/span><\/strong>Ready to get strategizing? Let’s dive in deeper.<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u200b<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/blocked-broken-heart-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” title_text=”blocked-broken-heart-never-right-word” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.4.8″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(680 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 1″ _builder_version=”4.4.8″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n

Step 1 | Understanding Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Someone who has a dismissive-avoidant attachment style values independence above all. While they crave intimacy, because of how they were raised, they’re terrified that other people will let them down (source).<\/a><\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n

If you’re in a relationship with a person with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, you’ll likely know it. They’re the charming individual who has plenty of surface-level friends but struggles to form deeper connections. They’re the lover who’s good with sexual intimacy but puts up a wall when emotions come into the equation. Baffling and inconsistent, they run hot and cold until you are left feeling confused and hurt.<\/p>\n

Someone who has a dismissive-avoidant attachment style values independence above all. This likely stems from some early trauma where the person’s primary caregiver does not meet their needs. In an unconscious attempt to avoid pain, they hold a belief that other people are unreliable. Personalities with Dismissive-avoidant attachment styles have completed a mental transformation that says: “To fulfill my needs, I only rely on myself.”<\/p>\n

People with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles maintain strict boundaries, can be emotionally cold, and have difficulties opening up to their partners or maintaining close friendships. Essentially, this is a defense mechanism, and people with avoidant attachment style may completely avoid relationships altogether, or keep anyone new they meet at a distance. It’s not uncommon for them to sabotage their partnerships because they are scared the other person will let them down \u2014 they reject before they are rejected.<\/p>\n

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Step 2 | <\/strong>Understanding Your Own Attachment Style<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

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A dismissive-avoidant attachment style person is willing to maintain a relationship with someone who accepts their need for autonomy and independence. Often the pressures and responsibilities that come with being in a committed relationship are off-putting for the dismissive-avoidant. Therefore, creating a safe space where your partner can be themselves is crucial if you want to attract them back.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n

It’s essential to understand your own attachment style so you can make an educated decision on whether you can meet your partner’s needs while meeting your own. It may be tempting to say, “I can sacrifice some of my needs to suit another,” but in reality, this will likely breed unfulfillment and resentment on both sides.<\/span><\/p>\n

We won’t go deep into the different attachment styles in this article, but you can find out more by\u00a0<\/span>clicking here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Think about it for a moment. Which attachment style best describes you?<\/span><\/p>\n