[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Everyone has, at some time or another, found themselves in a situation where they know that the person they\u2019re talking to is lying to them, but they are unable to get to the truth.<\/p>\n
People lie for all sorts of reasons, of course – to cover up criminal activity or a minor misdemeanor, out of misplaced loyalty to another person, to prevent someone\u2019s feelings from being hurt, or just because they get some strange sense of satisfaction from lying and manipulating people and their emotions.<\/p>\n
Whatever the reasons behind the lies, being lied to can be frustrating and upsetting, but there are ways to deal with this situation that can give you a better chance of finally getting to the real facts.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Detectives and police officers are, of course, used to people lying all the time, so who better to ask for advice on how to get to the truth when faced with someone lying to you?<\/strong><\/p>\n
So, let’s get to it. Read on for: We Asked an Ex-Detective for 5 Interview Scripts That Will Get the Truth out of Anybody and They Said This…<\/b><\/p>\n
Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n
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\nSome of what you said doesn\u2019t add up, can you help me understand what I\u2019m missing, please.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
In this template, you are subtly pointing out to the person who is lying that their story doesn\u2019t ring true, without actually coming out and accusing the person of lying. <\/span><\/p>\n
By avoiding any accusations, you don\u2019t risk the person becoming defensive, so they are more likely to keep talking, and may finally reveal the truth.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n
Whilst you’re listening keep an eye out for non-verbal cues, if the person say’s they turned left but the body language signals right you know there’s an inconsistency in their story which suggests that they aren’t telling the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n
The more the person talks, and the more you remain quiet, listen and watch, the more likely you are to get to the truth. Try not to give the person prompts like “so you went out with X around 9?” until you’ve collected enough information.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Interview Script 2 | \u201cI’m On Your Side\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nI understand what you\u2019ve been going through lately, and that stress must have been what caused you to behave this way.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
In this example, you are starting from a presumption that the person did whatever they are lying about, whether that is stealing something from work, forging a signature on some documents, or whatever. <\/span><\/p>\n
By starting from a presumptive position, you don\u2019t have to accuse the person of anything, and by empathising, you convince the person that you are ready to listen without making judgements.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
Interview Script 3 | \u201cWe Would Like to Hear Your Side of the Story\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\n[Insert Name] already told me exactly what happened, but I\u2019d like to hear your side of things.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
For this template to work, you do need to have at least some of the facts from the third party mentioned, even if you are not convinced that you\u2019ve heard the full story. <\/span><\/p>\n
Don\u2019t be tempted to reveal to the person you\u2019re interviewing exactly what you\u2019ve already been told, as that will allow them to think through some more lies to counteract what has been said. <\/span><\/p>\n
Instead, let the person think that the truth is already out there, so there is no point in continuing with any more lies. Again, the more the other person talks, the more likely you are to get to the bottom of what has happened.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Interview Script 4 | \u201cPlease Tell Me Everything- No Detail Is Too Small\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nSo you say you were [Insert Activity] at [Insert Time] at which point you saw [Insert Person] can you tell me about [what the person was wearing\/ what they were doing at that time] etc?<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
What is often regarded as unimportant information can often reveal whether the person in question is being truthful or not.<\/p>\n
Throwing in seemingly random questions like “do you remember what was around you at the time\/ what colour shirt was your friend wearing” and asking similar questions multiple times is tactic used by professionals to detect where someone’s story is incongruent.<\/p>\n
The devil is in the details as they say, so if someone’s ‘sandwich at a coffee shop’ turns into ‘drinks at a swanky bar’ the next time you ask where the person was you can best believe that something isn’t right.<\/p>\n
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Interview Script 5 | \u201cTake a Look at the Bigger Picture\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nIt will ultimately be better for everyone if you tell me what has happened.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
When most people lie, they do it to protect themselves from something, and their main concern is themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n
By subtly pointing out that their lies could actually cause harm to other people, perhaps their loved ones or friends, you should be able to make them realise that continuing with the lies is the wrong thing to do. <\/span><\/p>\n
You may need to go further than the example above, perhaps by asking them how they think [Insert Name] will feel when they find out what has happened, or what their peers in the office would say if they knew about the situation. A little gentle pressure, without any specifics or accusations, should push the person towards telling the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n
This idea also works well when you feel that the person is very anxious about the situation they have found themselves in. Perhaps they have been asked to cover up for someone else\u2019s bad behavior or they\u2019ve got caught up in another person\u2019s lies, and are going along with it out of loyalty to their friend. <\/span><\/p>\n
When lying doesn\u2019t come easily or naturally to a person, that person is the most likely to be able to get the truth from, as they are desperate to be rid of the burden of lying. Convince them of what they already know – that it\u2019s always better in the end to tell the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n
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As well as these example conversation starters, we have some general tips for handling situations where someone is lying to you and you need to get to the truth. First of all, always make sure that you start this conversation in private – no-one will ever admit to lying if they are in a group of people. Secondly, never come out with a direct accusation. Instead, phrase your questions in a way that presumes you know the truth. As an example, instead of saying \u201cI know you took that petty cash\u201d, try \u201ccould you tell me where the petty cash is now, please?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
Another good technique is to show empathy and understanding – if the person believes that there is a sympathetic ear ready to listen to what made them act the way they did, then they are more likely to open up with the truth. Always use the person\u2019s first name too, to help convince them that you can be trusted. Take your time, and let the other person do all the talking, only asking for gentle clarification along the way. <\/span><\/p>\n
Whilst the TV crime dramas might show forceful and aggressive interview tactics, in reality, this isn\u2019t what happens in the police interview room, and a much more considered and subtle approach is taken. Adopt a similar approach, and you should find that, with patience, you can get to the bottom of any issue, no matter how stubborn or manipulative the person being interviewed is.<\/span><\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
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