[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Few people get through their entire lives without going through a difficult, messy breakup with someone that they were head over heels in love with. As a close friend or a relative of the person who is going through this kind of split, it can be so hard to know what you should do or say to help them.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
No one wants to watch someone going through this type of thing without trying to make things better for them, but at the same time, it\u2019s hard to know whether you are really helping or making things even worse. So, when faced with this kind of situation, many of us simply do nothing, and then we feel bad for not being supportive.<\/span><\/p>\n
Pst!<\/strong> If you find yourself regularly in situations like this you might like our other article, We Asked a Counselor for 8 Phrases to Use to Calm down a Highly Emotional Person <\/a><\/strong><\/span>where we asked counselors for their 8 most effective phrases they use to calm people down in highly emotional situations.<\/p>\n
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\nIt\u2019s a clich\u00e9, but I\u2019m here for you.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
We\u2019ve all heard this from someone at some point in our lives, and doubtless, we\u2019ve all said it to someone too. It might sound cheesy and overused, but the reason it is so often said is that it is one of the only things you can say in such a difficult situation. <\/span><\/p>\n
No one who is going through a breakup wants to hear how their ex was a terrible person and how they\u2019re better off without them, for example. Nor do they want to hear that there are plenty more fish in the sea when they are still devastated by what they have lost. <\/span><\/p>\n
Instead, make it clear that you\u2019ll do your best to provide whatever support they need when they need it. That might be a shoulder to cry on, but it might also be a friend to go out shopping or to the cinema with, to get away from things for an hour or two.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/women-phone-never-right-word.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 2″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Message Template 2 | Now’s the Time To Listen and Refrain From Giving Too Much Advice (Unless Requested of Course)<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nI can\u2019t give you advice, but I can give you my ear.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
It\u2019s all too easy to fall into the trap of saying to your friend or relative \u201cwhat you should do is\u2026\u201d. Whether it\u2019s getting out and meeting new people, forgetting all about the person that has gone, or \u2018taking their mind off things\u2019, all of these suggestions may be well-meaning, but they aren\u2019t particularly helpful. <\/span><\/p>\n
Instead, be a very patient listener, but don\u2019t try to force the person to talk about how they feel before they are ready. Let them move forward at their own pace, and let them share with you only what they feel comfortable with. <\/span><\/p>\n
In time, they will open up, talk things through, and start to see how they can move on.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/texts-never-right-word.jpg” alt=”Pair of Hands Holding Smartphone or Mobile Phone With Chat or Messenger Application on Screen. Instant Messaging and Chatting, Online Communication” title_text=”texts-never-right-word” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”Copyright and Affiliate Links Notice” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”1.8em” global_module=”10507″ locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
Message Template 3 | But Do Offer them Some Perspective<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nIt\u2019s not your fault that this happened.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
When a relationship ends badly, it\u2019s common for one person in that relationship to feel that somehow it was their fault that it failed. <\/span>This can lead to serious self-esteem issues and even depression. <\/span><\/p>\n
Without going into an in-depth character assassination of the other party in the relationship, it\u2019s important to convince your friend or relative that these things happen and that no one is to blame. <\/span><\/p>\n
If you can help them to get past any feelings of guilt, you will be helping them move forward to their new life outside of the failed relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/couple-texting-never-right-word.jpg” alt=”A Woman and a Man Stand in Profile and Look in Their Phones” title_text=”couple-texting-never-right-word” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(535 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 4″ _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Message Template 4 | Help them Understand that their Feelings Are Normal<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nThere will be good days and bad days\u2026<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
By explaining to your friend or relative that no-one is expecting them to miraculously get over their break-up over the first weekend, you are giving them the space to take time to heal themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n
You\u2019re also showing them that it\u2019s OK to have days where they feel down about the situation, and it\u2019s also OK to have days where they feel positive about the future and cheerful. <\/span><\/p>\n
I<\/span>t\u2019s easy for people who are going through something like this to feel guilt after a period where they briefly feel happy. <\/span><\/p>\n
A morning spent having coffee with friends, laughing and enjoying a good chat, for example, can lead to a bout of negative feeling afterwards, so it\u2019s important that you support your friend or relative and explain that this is all part of the healing process.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Message Template 5 | Remind Them of All Their Good Qualities<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nYou are strong, even if you don\u2019t feel it today.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
When things go wrong for people, it\u2019s easy for them to feel defeated and worthless, and those feelings can quickly become ingrained, leading to long-term confidence and self-esteem issues. <\/span><\/p>\n
By repeating to your friend or relative that you know how strong and resilient they are, you are helping them to see that for themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n
After all, if you believe it of them, it will help them see it for themselves. This template also points out that it\u2019s really OK not to feel great about the situation, or about yourself, for periods of time. <\/span><\/p>\n
The key is to look at those feelings, accept them, and then counter them with positive thoughts and self-affirmation. <\/span><\/p>\n
As well as telling them how strong they are, encourage them to tell themselves this, to build up that self-belief within themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/mend-broken-heart-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” alt=”Man and Woman Fix Broken Heart Illustration” title_text=”mend-broken-heart-never-right-word” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(540 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”4.4.5″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Healing after any breakup is bound to take time. A relationship rarely ends overnight, so there is usually a lot of built-up unhappiness and conflict to work through and get over. As a friend or family member, the best thing that you can do is quietly reassure the person affected that you are always there, ready to support them in any way they need. <\/span><\/p>\n
Don\u2019t force them to talk about the breakup if they\u2019re not ready to, don\u2019t rush them into going out if they don\u2019t want to, and don\u2019t criticize their ex in the hope that it will make them feel better. Instead, be a good listener, a patient friend, and a practical helper, whenever you can and for however long it takes to heal. Over time, your friend or relative will gradually become their old self, the pain will diminish, and they will start to enjoy life again and look to the future.<\/span><\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
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