[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
They say that politics, religion, and money are three of the biggest reasons why people argue, and it\u2019s easy to see why. In fact, many people choose to avoid conversations with friends and family about politics or religion for this very reason, preferring instead to stick to neutral topics that won\u2019t result in a heated argument. That approach may work well for a lot of difficult subjects, but avoiding talking with your partner about money could ultimately make things much worse. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
No matter how hard it might be to bring up a conversation that you know will be a tense and difficult one, it has to be tackled sooner or later, and the sooner everything is discussed and out in the open, the sooner you can start to take action on whatever issues have arisen. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n
Depending on what your spouse is like it may be an awkward thing to do, so to help you here are 5 scripts to start the ‘money’ talk with your spouse:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n
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\nI read an article the other day about being in debt, and it had so much positive information in it\u2026 Just goes to show very few things in life are beyond repair. What do you think about [Insert Relevant Question]?<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
In this approach, you have not plunged headlong into an alarmist declaration of impending disaster by announcing \u201cwe\u2019re in so much debt and I don\u2019t know how we\u2019ll cope\u201d. Instead, you have, for the moment, removed the personal element, so that you can concentrate on the facts surrounding being in debt. <\/span><\/p>\n
If you can explain how the article said that people had come to realize they had a debt problem, and then cover any suggested ways to tackle the debt, you have put plenty of helpful, rational information in front of your partner. With a little luck, they will then feel receptive to the conversation, and will acknowledge themselves that you both have a financial issue that needs to be tackled.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Script 2 | Set Goals<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nI\u2019d like to start saving regularly, so that we can afford [Insert Name of Item]. The reward will be so much better knowing we bought that item using dividends\/ money generated by our assets. What sort of things\/ experiences would you like to have in the future?<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
If you feel that one or both of you have a tendency to buy things or spend money without really being able to afford it, it might be a good idea to introduce the idea of saving for things, rather than buying them on credit. By making it fun and engaging, you can turn saving up for things into an enjoyable, and regular habit. Brainstorm some ideas for ways that you can save money, and have regular updates to keep each other updated on your savings progress.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/old-couple-never-right-word.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(530 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on” alt=”Couple of Cheerful Seniors Riding Motorbike, Man and Woman Pensioner Active Lifestyle, Aged People Extreme Activity, Senior Character Driving Fast on Scooter Illustration” title_text=”old-couple-never-right-word” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 3″ _builder_version=”4.4.7″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” header_2_font_size_tablet=”” header_2_font_size_phone=”26px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Script 3 | Be Helpful<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nI\u2019ve done a little research on saving money, and I think we could make some easy wins by cutting back on [Insert Relevant Expense]. We’ll be where we want to be in [X Amount of Time] if we momentarily stop spending money on [Y]. What we want is closer than we think.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Like the other previous suggested templates, this one concentrates on the positives of how to save money, rather than the negative of being in debt. Go through your suggestions for how to make savings in your day to day life, and ask your partner for their ideas – ensuring that you receive any ideas in an upbeat and supportive way, no matter how small the suggested saving is.<\/span><\/p>\n
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Illustrations courtesy of <\/i>Shutterstock<\/strong>.<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n
This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <\/span><\/em>Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants.<\/span><\/em>\u00a0For more information, please view our <\/span><\/em>Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
Script 4 | Get the Ball Rolling<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nLet\u2019s create a budget spreadsheet. I’ll do some research on this area, with a little effort most problems can be solved.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This would work well if your partner is computer-centric in their approach to life. If they like order and organization generally, but leave their finances to get in a muddle, suggesting an ordered and methodical approach to sorting things out may just have the desired effect. The good thing about having a budget spreadsheet for your finances is that it shows the real facts, with nowhere to hide. <\/span><\/p>\n
If you only ever have conversations that start with you saying that you\u2019re both always broke, and your partner simply replies \u201cno, we\u2019re not\u201d, that isn\u2019t likely to create a productive outcome. If you have a weekly money meeting centered around a spreadsheet, you\u2019ll both soon get used to the idea of justifying your expenses and seeing where the money goes.<\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/people-talking-never-right-word.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(530 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on” sticky_enabled=”0″ alt=”Man and Woman Sitting at Table and Discussing Ideas, Exchanging Information, Solving Problems. Brainstorm or Discussion. Teamwork” title_text=”people-talking-never-right-word”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Template 5″ _builder_version=”4.4.7″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Script 5 | Suggest Professional Assistance<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nA colleague at work has just been to see a debt counselor, and they are feeling so positive about it. They said that once they got over the initial embarrassment and was honest with themselves about where they were at they could see how things could start working in their favor.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This is a variation on the template above that uses an article that you\u2019ve read to introduce the concept of debt management. <\/span><\/p>\n
In this approach, if you can describe how an acquaintance of yours has had similar problems with money, and how they are tackling those problems, it may help your partner to see that it\u2019s not something to be ashamed of, and those debt problems can happen to anyone. It also brings in the idea of seeking outside help from an impartial person, someone who has experience and expertise in helping people to get out of their debt problems. <\/span><\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/loveheart-relationships-never-right-word-scaled.jpg” admin_label=”Single Image” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ hover_enabled=”0″ custom_css_main_element=”}||.wrapper {||position: relative;||height: 0;||\/* Formula is: (height \/ width * 100%) *\/||padding-top: calc(800 \/ 800 * 100%);||}||||.wrapper__img {||position: absolute;||top: 0;||left: 0;||max-width: 100%;||height: auto;” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on” alt=”Philanthropy Vector Illustration, Voluntary Charity Persons Concept” title_text=”loveheart-relationships-never-right-word” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”4.4.5″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
As well as these specific scripts for starting conversations about money, there are some more general guidelines that could prove useful. <\/span><\/p>\n
The most important of these is to choose the right time to strike up a conversation about your finances. If you burst out with your concerns as soon as your partner steps through the door after work, you should expect them to be flustered and defensive. <\/span><\/p>\n
Likewise, they will not appreciate any subtle or not so subtle hints being made in front of friends or family. Instead, choose a time when you are both relaxed and calm, and when you have plenty of time with no distractions. <\/span><\/p>\n
Plan ahead so that you can offer practical suggestions for how you could tackle your financial situation together, and make it sound achievable. <\/span><\/p>\n
Be realistic with what you think you can achieve in terms of savings or extra income, and take your partner\u2019s concerns and point of view into consideration at all times. <\/span><\/p>\n
Whether you are in serious debt, or you just have some niggling concerns about credit card debt, gambling or the fact that you\u2019re not saving for a rainy day, with a sensitive approach and a little bit of planning, talking about money doesn\u2019t need to be something that you put off, through fear of an argument.<\/span><\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
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