[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title Header” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”rgba(255,255,255,0.3)” background_color_gradient_end=”rgba(33,51,101,0)” parallax=”on” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|0px|0px|0px|false|false” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ global_module=”767″ saved_tabs=”all” locked=”on” collapsed=”on”][et_pb_fullwidth_post_title author=”off” date=”off” comments=”off” featured_placement=”background” text_background=”on” text_bg_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” admin_label=”Fullwidth Post Title” _builder_version=”4.9.4″ title_font=”Playfair Display|900|||on||||” title_text_align=”center” title_text_color=”#213365″ title_font_size=”55px” meta_font=”Poppins|500|on||||||” meta_text_align=”center” meta_font_size=”14px” meta_letter_spacing=”2px” meta_line_height=”1.8em” background_color=”#f7f7f7″ background_color_gradient_direction=”245deg” custom_padding=”130px||250px|||” custom_padding_tablet=”150px||150px” custom_padding_phone=”50px||50px” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|desktop” title_font_size_tablet=”45px” title_font_size_phone=”40px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” border_radii=”on|5px|5px|5px|5px” border_width_all=”1px” border_color_all=”RGBA(0,0,0,0)” box_shadow_style=”preset3″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_fullwidth_post_title][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_row column_structure=”3_4,1_4″ admin_label=”Post Content” _builder_version=”4.9.0″][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Introduction” _builder_version=”4.0.7″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
Ever been dumbfounded by someone taking a seemingly pleasant conversation down an ugly sexist road?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Shocked by a comment that’s come out of a colleague or bosses mouth? Perhaps your just irritated by assumptions made by people who don’t know you?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Whatever the case, sexism should not be accepted as ‘normal’ despite the fact that pretty much all of us have been witness to outdated and frustrating views or comments.<\/p>\n
Whilst it can be tempting to either retaliate with a snappy comeback or do the opposite, and bury our heads in the sand, ultimately we think it’s best to take the high road and lead by example (but also NOT let extremely bad behavior slide).<\/p>\n
Maybe you want to make the a person evaluate their behavior without stooping to their level, no matter how delicious it might feel.<\/p>\n
Or perhaps you’re in a situation where there are some serious underlying issues that need to be addressed. Whatever your situation- we’ve got six scripts to shut down sexist comments the right way.<\/p>\n
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This article was originally published on <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>. If this article appears on any other site other than <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong> without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by <\/i>https:\/\/www.nevertherightword.com<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/strong>.<\/i><\/p>\n
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\nPlease, could you not talk like that. It makes me very uncomfortable and compromises my feeling of safety.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This is a very direct and to the point script, equally effective when used by males and females. It directly questions the motive behind any sexist remarks, explaining to the offender exactly why it makes you uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
This script allows you to quickly set your expectations or boundaries and is a great \u2018universal\u2019 dialect. It can be used anywhere: in school, at work, at home or even on the streets, and will provide incredible results in most instances.<\/p>\n
Call the bad behavior out and let them know how unacceptable their \u201cjoke\u201d or comment really was. Most of the time people will apologize when they are forced to confront the reality of what they just said.<\/p>\n
By directly calling someone out on their behavior, you\u2019re forcing them to reevaluate what they think is appropriate to say in any situation.<\/p>\n
Reaffirm that it makes you feel belittled or unsafe, so that you can make sure that the person making the comments understands the impact of their words and actions.<\/p>\n
As you are directly telling them that you feel unsafe, they are much less likely to make sexist comments to you or anyone else.<\/p>\n
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Script 2 | At the Workplace<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nThat\u2019s extremely unprofessional. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s appropriate to talk to (or about) me like that, and if it doesn\u2019t stop I will need to make an official complaint.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Sexist comments at the workplace are much more common than they really should be; this script is a great way to remind people that you will not tolerate any sexist remarks and that it is grossly unprofessional in any circumstance.<\/p>\n
One benefit of this script is that you are giving the offending person a chance; they might not understand that their words or actions are offensive, so by giving them the benefit of the doubt, you\u2019re allowing them to rectify their actions.<\/p>\n
This script also explains that sexist comments are not appropriate in the workplace, which will likely curb their prevalence in the future.<\/p>\n
Similarly, this will allow you to identify if anyone is making sexist remarks solely for a reaction. If there is some form of intent, then you absolutely should make a complaint, or at the very least, report them to your line manager.<\/p>\n
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Script 3 | Make Them Explain<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nWhat was that? I\u2019m sorry, I don\u2019t get it – could you please explain what you mean? It\u2019s just, it wasn\u2019t clear and I\u2019m not sure that I understand.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Arguably, the best way to shut down sexist comments is by making the \u2018joker\u2019 explain exactly what they meant.<\/p>\n
Sexist jokes rely on unfair stereotypes that when said out loud feel absolutely ridiculous, so by making someone explain the punchline to their sexist \u2018joke\u2019, you\u2019re forcing them to realize how silly they actually look.<\/p>\n
Nothing will make an offensive person feel more stupid than having to explain why their joke is so funny. This can also be a lot of fun.<\/p>\n
Make them explain it to you. A simple \u201cI don\u2019t get it\u201d will force the perpetrator to explain to you why they think what they just said was acceptable.<\/p>\n
Grown adults often crumble when forced to confront the truth behind the awful things they say. So make this person tell you exactly why this joke is so hilarious.<\/p>\n
Having to explain a joke is a painful experience anyway, but when somebody has to explain to you the sexist intentions of a punchline, based solely on toxic predispositions, they will quickly realize the error of their ways.<\/p>\n
The great thing about this response is that it doesn\u2019t rely on confrontation in any way – you\u2019re using someone\u2019s own thoughtless actions against them by feigning ignorance through a completely innocent conversation.<\/p>\n
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Script 4 | Turn the Tables<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nIf that\u2019s really all you have to say (or joke about), it really says a lot about your intellectual capabilities\u2026<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
There are a lot of ways that you can turn the tables, though these generally depend heavily on the type of comment or joke that was made, or whether it was aimed at a man or a woman.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, you may choose to tell a sexist joke back, though this isn\u2019t really recommended – it can make you appear as hypocritical, especially if you\u2019ve previously expressed a distaste in this type of \u2018humor\u2019 in the past.<\/p>\n
This response allows you to turn a sexist joke into a playful insult. It works especially well if the \u2018joker\u2019 is trying to explain their intent as \u2018banter\u2019, as it could just be considered bantering back.<\/p>\n
It will allow you to give them a taste of their own medicine, hopefully preventing them from making similar comments in the future.<\/p>\n
Aside from being an insult in itself, this script also allows you to set boundaries by making it apparent that you are not comfortable with any sexist remarks.<\/p>\n
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Script 5 | Don\u2019t react<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\n…<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
One of the most powerful responses to sexist remarks, comments or jokes is to simply not react. When people make these types of jokes, it is usually to either express an unfair opinion or to get a reaction – whether that\u2019s a debate, an argument or just a laugh.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t react at all to their sexist joke, the person making it will feel incredibly uncomfortable. You can make a confused face at them, or even raise an eyebrow – bonus points if there\u2019s an uncomfortable silence!<\/p>\n
By not reacting to these types of comments, you\u2019re not encouraging them. Most people, once they realize they won\u2019t get what they want from you (a reaction), will just not continue.<\/p>\n
Try using this response if you don\u2019t like confrontation or if you want to completely avoid the potential for an argument.<\/p>\n
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Script 6 | Tell Their Mom! (If They’re a Kid)<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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\nHow do you think your mom would react if she heard you talking like that? Why don\u2019t I tell her? I\u2019m sure she\u2019ll find it as hilarious as you do.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
People are universally afraid of how their mothers might react, especially if they know they\u2019re in the wrong. Use this to your advantage and threaten to bring them into it!<\/p>\n
Obviously, you don\u2019t actually have to share their comments with their parents – the threat alone is usually enough to make someone realize that they\u2019re being ignorant. In this interconnected world, though, it\u2019s incredibly easy to find out information by using Social media\u2026<\/p>\n
This response works especially well if a woman is receiving sexist comments from a man; a woman will be able to connect with their mom, who is more likely to sympathize or understand the impact that sexist remarks can have.<\/p>\n
One thing that makes this script great is that it can briefly allow someone to understand how it feels to be made fun of – they wouldn\u2019t want anyone to talk to\/about their parent like that, so why should they be doing it to you?<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider admin_label=”Divider” _builder_version=”3.21.2″ locked=”on”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Conclusion” _builder_version=”4.4.6″ text_font=”Poppins||||||||” locked=”on”]<\/p>\n
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life\u2019s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you\u2019d like example templates for, request a topic here<\/b><\/span><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/b>\u00a0<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re interested in further reading, we\u2019ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more\u00a0about NTRW<\/b><\/span><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0our\u00a0recommended tools<\/b><\/span><\/a>,<\/b> you can do that\u00a0here<\/b>.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
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