5 Positive Things to Say to Someone Who Thinks They’re Hated
When you’re struggling with mental illness, for example anxiety and depression, it’s extremely easy to mistakenly assume that everyone dislikes spending time with us. Thinking the people around you secretly dislike you or don’t want to be in the same space as you is a common experience for those dealing with mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
What we have to understand is that when we allow our negative thinking patterns to warp our sense of reality, it often affects how we perceive our interactions with others. If the thought pattern persists for an extended period of time, we are more likely to find evidence to validate our fears. The more scared we are cof people not liking us the more likely we are to come across people who act like they don’t like us. It’s a catch 22.
So maybe you’re uncomfortable because someone you don’t know very well is latching on to you for valdation; or maybe you’re in the opposite scenario where someone you are close withy mistakenly believes they aren’t loved. If you have someone in your life who’s seriously set on the idea that everyone hates them, it can be a heartbreaking and often frustrating pursuit to try to convince them otherwise.
You could also be in the situation where someone suspects they are disliked and there’s an element of truth to it. What do you say in these kinds of circumstances? To help you in these situations we’ve written five comforting scripts that you can use to help them get back on the right track:
Script 1 | Make Plans
What are you doing on this date? I was hoping that we could go and catch a movie, or get a drink? What do you think?
One reason that your friend might think that they’re hated is because they haven’t seen you or their other friends in a long time. You should try to make plans with them – it will remind your friend that they are not hated, and that you still actively want to be around them!
The great thing about this script is that it doesn’t put the ball in their court or expect your friend to make the plans. When you directly ask someone to do something on a certain date, it shows that you’re making an ongoing effort to see them, so they shouldn’t feel like they’re the only person trying to make something happen.
If possible, try and pick a date when you know for certain that your friend will be free – if you already know their schedule, it will show that you really do care about them. It also becomes much harder for your friend to say no!
Script 2 | Reassure Them When You Might Be Busy
Just because we can’t talk every day doesn’t mean we hate you at all! Everyone’s just really busy at the minute, so finding the time to talk has been next to impossible. We all still love you very much!
A reason that someone might think that they’re hated is that the people they want around always seem to be busy, or simply don’t have the time to message them.
Sometimes, it’s better to reassure someone that they’re not hated – it’s just that finding the time to regularly talk can be difficult. Your friend should understand this, especially if you all work different schedules or don’t have the same classes.
It’s also important to reassure your friend that you (and the rest of your group) do still love them. The great thing about this script is that it can help put into a reasonable perspective that everyone is simply doing different things, without the need to blame anyone.
Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.
This article was originally published on https://www.nevertherightword.com. If this article appears on any other site other than https://www.nevertherightword.com without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by https://www.nevertherightword.com.
Script 3 | Remind Them How Important They Are
No one hates you! You’re what keeps us all together! You’re extremely important and we’d be nothing without you, so please don’t beat yourself up.
Someone who feels like they are hated will often forget that they are hugely important to you or your group of close friends. They might feel undervalued or underappreciated, which is why you should regularly remind them that they are much a part of the group as anyone else.
If someone thinks they are hated, they will likely feel somewhat unimportant. When you reassure them that they are crucial to your group dynamic, it will instill a new sense of confidence that your friend might not have had before.
This script can help to put the focus on just how important someone is: by saying that they are what keeps the group together, you’re proving that they are not hated at all.
Script 4 | Empathise
It’s hard, I know. I’ve been there too; sometimes I still feel like that, but it’s important to remember that nobody hates you and we all only want the best for you!
Being able to relate to someone is a great way to get them to open up with you, which could, in turn, create a stronger bond than there was initially.
It’s important to empathise, as it helps people to realize that they don’t need to struggle alone. If they know that you’ve been through a similar experience, they will be able to trust you more – this could then alleviate or relieve any other feelings of loneliness, proving to your friend that they are not hated at all.
A great thing about this script is that it allows YOU to open up to someone else as well; showing someone that you trust them enough to share a sensitive secret with them will make them feel special and included. It’s an important step in building up a mutual trust while serving as a strong reminder that they’re not hated – after all, you wouldn’t share that information if you didn’t like them!
Script 5 | Let Them Know That You’re There When They Need You
You’re not hated at all. I love being around you, and I want to make sure that you’re okay. Please just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you – message me whenever you need! It doesn’t matter what time it is or where you are, I’ll do my best to be there.
One of the greatest things that you can say to someone who thinks that they’re hated is that you’re there for them (and you’ll always be there for them) whenever they might need it. It drills home the idea that they shouldn’t feel lonely, or that you will go out of your way to make sure they are comfortable and happy.
This script is a great choice for a few reasons: it reminds your friend that they’re not hated, that people enjoy being in their company, and that you’re willing to help them out however you can, whenever you can.
By reminding your friend that they are loved, you can help them to build up confidence – this will then allow them to realise that people don’t hate them, whilst hopefully becoming a stronger person.
Another benefit of this script is that it reassures your friend that you care a lot about them, and that you really do only want the best for them.
At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.
Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!
Never the Right Word
Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.
In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.
Relevant Books We Recommend...
In The Upward Spiral, neuroscientist and author Alex Korb demystifies the intricate brain processes that cause depression and offers a practical and effective approach to improving your mental state. This book outlines an engaging and informative look at the neuroscience behind our emotions, which suggests that whilst there isn’t one big or general solution to depression, there are numerous simple steps you can take to change your brain activity and chemistry. This is a great read for anyone who wants to learn how to get control over their emotional state. CLICK HERE to get a copy of The Upward Spiral.
In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, author Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. In this compelling book, you’ll learn why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief. You'll learn how challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve. You'll receive practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying your pain being a problem you need to 'fix.' Lastly, you'll learn how to help the people you love. CLICK HERE to buy your copy.
In Rewire Your Anxious Brain, author, and psychologist Catherine Pittman and author Elizabeth Karle offer a unique, evidence-based solution (based in cutting-edge neuroscience and research) to overcoming anxiety. This book offers a greater understanding of how anxiety is created in the mind, and as a result, you will feel empowered and motivated to overcome it. The brain is an incredibly powerful tool, and the more you work to change the way you respond to fear, the more resilient you will become. Using the practical self-assessments and proven-effective techniques in this book, you will learn to literally “rewire” the brain processes that lie at the root of your fears. CLICK HERE to get a copy of this book.
In Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits readers are given a road–map to overcoming the most common self-destructive habits, including procrastination, excessive worrying, internet addiction, overeating, risk-taking, and self-medication, among others. By learning the valuable skills and habits outlined in the book, including (our favorite) mindfulness, self-control, confronting fear, and freeing yourself from mindless guilt- we can open ourselves to vastly happier, successful, and fulfilling lives. A fantastic read for anyone who wants to take control of their life. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Rewire.
Check Out Our Recommended Resources.
Looking to become a digital publisher like us? We highly recommend these tried-and-tested tools:
We Recommend Elegant Themes
The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained.
Build Anything With Divi Theme
One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites.
Customize With Divi Cake Plugins
Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community-driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.
We ❤️Shutterstock Media
We get our images from the OG in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we had to mention Shutterstock.
Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning
When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?
Reliable Hosting With SiteGround
SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built-in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support, AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer, and more supportive- you can check them out here.
We Trust Grammarly Premium
Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Try Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.
Find Graphics With Creative Market
Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...
Donating to Never the Right Word will
help us produce more free content. Thank you!