The feud between spouses and in-laws seems to be a trope at this point, but an unhealthy relationship between a person and their in-laws is no laughing matter.

The fact is, the tension in this relationship can cause tension in a marriage and between an entire family, so it’s important to make amends with in-laws quickly if anything has happened that has caused disagreements on either side.

If you have found yourself on the wrong side of your in-laws and need to fix the situation, take a deep breath. We’ve written some handy letter templates to get you started.

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

This article was originally published on If this article appears on any other site other than without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by

This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. For more information, please view our Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.

Letter 1 | Showing You Value their Input


Dear Mrs./ Mr. [Insert Name],
I’m writing to you today because I know there is tension between us and I would like to talk through it. When your daughter and I married, we agreed to accept each other’s family as our own, and I truly want to build a healthy and honest relationship with you.
I understand that we haven’t had the chance to spend a lot of time together, so I’d like the opportunity to talk. I’d love the chance to share some of my career goals along with the plans [Insert Your Partner’s Name]  and I have for starting a family.
I’d also appreciate your input on some things, as I know your opinion means the world to your daughter, and I value it greatly, too. When you get the chance, please give me a call.
[Insert Your Name]

This letter is a great general template, regardless of what has caused the tension or distance between you and your in-laws.

It panders a bit to the shared love you have for their child, and it helps open the doors without placing blame on anyone or even bringing up the issue.

Instead, it talks about the future and how important it is that you two get along and open up for the sake of the entire family.

Letter 2 | Building Relationships with Estranged InLaws


Dear Mr. and Mrs. [Insert Name],
As you know, Scott and I recently celebrated our third anniversary together, and with each year, we have grown so much closer.
I know I am a better person for having him in my life, and it’s so important to both of us that we spend time together as a family. That’s why I’m writing to you today in hopes of getting together and talking soon.
We haven’t had the opportunity to spend a lot of time together, but as time goes by, I realize more and more how much it would mean for us to build a stronger relationship.
Would you like to get together sometime? Our doors are always open and we’d love to have you for dinner.
[Insert Your Name]

This letter takes a similar approach as the first, but gives a direct invitation to help get the conversation going between the spouse and their in-laws.

It also takes a friendly and meaningful approach to explaining the reason for the letter, stating that it would mean a lot if they could have a close relationship and bond with their in-laws.

This letter is a great one to customize, especially if you have been with your spouse for a long time and feel there is distance between you and your in-laws that you would like to address.

Letter 3 | Getting to Know Each Other 


Dear Mr. and Mrs. [Name],
After spending some time with you this past Christmas, I realized how much it would mean for us to get to know each other better.
Even after all this time, I feel like we haven’t really built a strong connection, and I’d love the opportunity for us to get together as a family and just chat. Let me know when would work for you two.
[Insert Your Name]

This letter is short and simple. If you can open it by bringing up a previous meeting (hopefully a positive or cordial one), you will help give yourself an “in” for spending more time together.

Regardless, the justification remains the same: it’s important for spouses and in-laws to get along, and not getting along typically sprouts from them simply not knowing each other enough.

Acknowledging this can open new doors to actually talk and build a bond.

While you might not ever be as close with your in-laws as you may have hoped, remaining open-minded and helpful to them is essential to building a healthy relationship with them and staying on talking terms. These letters are a good starting point for doing so, good luck, and remember, everything in life eventually moves on, including your mother-in-law’s frown!

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

Article by Never the Right Word

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations. Learn more about NTRW here. NTRW is supported by adverts and affiliate marketing links. For more info, please see our Earnings Disclosure.

This site does not constitute legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional. If you have questions please Contact Us.

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation. Learn more about me here.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

Recent Articles...

Relevant Books We Recommend...

How to Talk to Anyone

With 92 little hacks for big success in relationships, How to Talk to Anyone by an internationally renowned communications expert and life coach, Leil Lowndes ensures you’ll always know what to say. These extremely usable and intelligent techniques including how to work a party like a television presenter, steering the conversation to where you would like to take it and get connected to any crowd. Lowndes explores different aspects of the conversation and how to present yourself in order to integrate successfully. There's a lot of useful information covered such as speaking the language of the addressee to build rapport. CLICK HERE get your copy of How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes from Book Depository. 

Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People

Packed with over 325 ready-to-use phrases to use when working with challenging personalities, Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People by Renée Evenson is an all-in-one guide for resolving conflict. Organized for easy reference, this book offers powerful tools for defusing potentially explosive situations, such as; 20 challenging coworker behaviors, with specific phrases and actions for dealing with each, 10 difficult boss personality types, with guidelines for working through problems with each, blunder recovering tips, and a five-step process for turning bad situations into positive ones. We highly recommend this book. You can get your copy of Powerful Phrases by CLICKING HERE. 

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age (Paperback)

Celebrating the 75 anniversary of the renowned self-improvement bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People, comes a refreshed adaptation of Carnegie’s timeless prescriptions for the digital age. We love this classic because it teaches the reader how to shift their mindset to make life more engaging and rewarding which increasing being more and relevant in today's society. How to win friends and influence people in the digital age is one of the best books to help you learn how to be influential. Anyone who is willing to read in-between the lines can see that there is power in Carnegie's insights. You can get your copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age by Dale Carnegie & Associates by CLICKING HERE.  

The Mediator's Handbook: Revised & Expanded fourth edition (Paperback)

Throughout The Mediator's Handbook by Jennifer E. Beer and Caroline C. Packard the emphasis is on what the mediator can do or say NOW, and on the underlying principles and core methods that can help the mediator make considered choices. Long a popular course textbook for high schools, universities, and training programs, The Mediator's Handbook is also a valued desk reference for professional mediators, and a practical guide for managers, organizers, teachers, and anyone working with clients, customers, volunteers, committees or teams. You can get your copy of The Mediator's Handbook by CLICKING HERE.

Pin Never the Right Word on Pinterest!

Check Out Our Recommended Resources.

Looking to become a digital publisher like us? We highly recommend these tried-and-tested tools:

We Recommend Elegant Themes

The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained.

Divi WordPress Theme

Build Anything With Divi Theme

One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites.

Divi Cake is a community driven marketplace for Divi Child Themes, Builder Layouts, and Plugins - Shop Now!

Customize With Divi Cake Plugins

Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community-driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.

We ❤️Shutterstock Media

We get our images from the OG in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we had to mention Shutterstock.

Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning

When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?

Web Hosting

Reliable Hosting With SiteGround

SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built-in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support, AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer, and more supportive- you can check them out here.

We Trust Grammarly Premium

Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Try Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.

Find Graphics With Creative Market

Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...

Powered by Creative Market

Powered by Creative Market

Contact Us

Contact Form

Write to:
Never the Right Word
Building 19475
PO Box 6945
United Kingdom

Follow NTRW

Support NTRW

Donating to Never the Right Word will
help us produce more free content. Thank you!

Stay in the Loop

Pin It on Pinterest