You have just broken up with your ex, but you feel anxious because you are not ready to be single. You want your ex back because you believe you made a stupid mistake by breaking up, and you don’t know how to fix it.

How do you get your ex back especially when they are avoiding you? They are avoiding you because you dumped them, and you broke their heart, and you can’t blame them for wanting to protect themselves, right? They don’t want to go through the same pain again. And they are not ready to reconcile with you. But you realized you truly care for them, you love them, and you want to win their heart back. So what should you do? Is there a way to fix this?

Do You Really Want to Reconcile?


One thing you need to remind yourself is this big question: “Why did you dump them?” Was it because of something that they weren’t providing for you? Were you unfaithful and you left them for someone else? Were they unfaithful and you left them because they were cheating on you? And what is the real reason behind your wanting to reconcile with your ex after breaking up with them? We don’t know why you two are not together anymore, but you do. So before you get back in touch with your ex, think about the real reason why you wanted to go solo and you ended the relationship. There are some things to consider. For instance:

Don’t let anxiety get the better of you.

If you broke up with your ex for a good reason, you should remind yourself of this when you feel a high level of anxiety. You probably feel anxiety because you are not used to the idea of being alone. Especially if you are 40 or over, you might be thinking like you will be alone for the rest of your life and this might send you into a panic mode. You might want to contact your ex because you are afraid of being single and alone. And this creates a good deal of anxiety in you.

Don’t act out of guilt.

If you left your ex for another person, or just to simply be single and free, you might feel anxiety because of your guilt. Guilt is a powerful feeling that makes us do a lot of things we wouldn’t normally do. It also keeps you in situations we wouldn’t normally tolerate. So make sure that you don’t want your ex back because of feelings of guilt. you want to be forgiven, you want another chance, you believe you deserve it. At this point. even if you believe you deserve it, if your ex doesn’t agree with you, then there is no chance.

Are you just bored?

If you are trying to get in touch with your ex because you are bored and you have nothing better to do, then just stop right there. It is not fair to them nor is it fair to you. If you want your ex back, the intent has to be genuine. Not because you’re bored or because you are not able to find another date.

So you truly love them, and you feel terrible because you made a big mistake and now you want to communicate with them again. But wait a minute. They blocked you on social media, they blocked your messages. So how do you get back in touch with them? Is calling them a good idea? Or should you send an SMS? Because if you are blocked on social media and other platforms, chances are, you don’t have any other means of communication left. You will have to either call them or send them a message. How can you convince them that you made a mistake, you want to fix things, and win them back because you truly love them?

Male and Female Hands Holding Smartphones With Portraits of Man and Woman on Screens. Social Mobile Application for Dating, Searching for Romantic Partner.

How to Get Your Ex Back After Breaking Up With Them?


Breakups are never easy and they are harder to deal with for the party who was dumped. According to research, only 43% of relationships end permanently without reconciliation. So the majority of couples reconcile one way or another. In your case, you need to understand and come to terms with the reality that your ex most probably took this breakup much harder than you. It is the nature of breakups. Most people want to reconcile because they can’t find a date or partner that can replace their ex. They still have feelings for them, or they can’t deal with being alone. But let’s talk about having mutual feelings even after the breakup. Instead of rushing things and acting out of anxiety, you need to follow these steps:

Give your ex enough time to calm down and get over things.

This is important because you breaking up with them broke their heart. They are probably angry at you. They feel a lot of resentment. If you keep pushing too soon you will only confuse them more with your erratic behavior and it will make them scared and suspicious. You have to give them the time and space they need to think things over. And if they come back with a NO, you need to face the music and take NO as an answer and be ready to move on.

Work on yourself and fix your mistakes.

While you give your ex time to calm down and think things over, you need to do your homework. Nobody will take you back if you are going to repeat the same mistakes. You need to prove to your ex you have changed your behavior, worked on yourself, and are ready to move to the next step. You need to be ready to accept the guilt 100% here, Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in their place, would you take an ex back if you knew everything would still be the same? There is a reason why the relationship did not work out. You can’t keep trying to put a square piece of the puzzle through a triangular hole.

It didn’t go through the first time, it won’t go through now either. Respect their wishes. If they blocked you on social media and elsewhere, respect their wishes and don’t try to push their limits. It means they need time to be alone and think things over to heal themselves and fix their emotional and mental state. Apply the 30-day no contact rule even if you are the one that initiated the breakup. Give them time to reorganize their thoughts. If you try to call or SMS too soon, you will run the risk of being blocked on their phone contacts as well. So just step back and let things run their course a little bit.

Start with baby steps.

Don’t go crazy texting and calling right away. Even after a 30-day no contact period, you should start with something small, friendly, non-threatening, and coherent. Send a little SMS and stop there. Even if you don’t get a response, stop yourself from over texting, bombarding their phone with one message after another. Just send one friendly message and that’s it. You are trying to test the situation here. If you don’t get a reply, then it means you are not welcomed yet. It could be something like ” Hey, hope you’re doing well. I was shopping at this store today and saw this (put the item name here) that made me think of you. I just wanted to say hi.” And that’s it. Then you wait. Something along these lines.

Nothing pushy, nothing pressuring. And if you don’t hear back, do all in your power to not send more texts back. Don’t rush to meet. If you are lucky, and your ex is texting you back, maybe the next step would be to text them a bit more frequently. No calls yet. It is very important to rebuild the trust slowly. Once the text messages reach a healthy and consistent level, then you can try calling them. But you need to have their approval for this. Don’t just decode to call them without asking them first. Ask them if it is OK and when is the best time to call them. You have to respect their privacy, and not act like you are respecting privacy when you are not. Be 150% genuine.

Don’t try to convince them that you have changed by words.

Words are words and in most cases they prove nothing. Most of the time words are empty and they don’t hold any substance. What truly shows you have changed is your actions. If your actions don’t back up your words, your ex will see it in a heartbeat. Because remember, they know you much better than anyone. Because they have been in a relationship with you.

Finally, set up a date with your ex. When we say date, well obviously, it will not be a romantic date most probably. You will see each other face to face after a long time. You will probably talk about what needs to change, what needs to be done before you two can get back together.

Portrait of Lesbian Couple Flirting With Each Other. Homosexual Romantic Partners on Date. Concept of Love, Passion and Homosexuality

Illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock.

This article was originally published on If this article appears on any other site other than without clear referencing it is a violation of the copyright owned by

This article may contain affiliate links. That means if you click and buy a product, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. For more information, please view our Privacy Policy and Earnings Disclosure page.

As the research shows, more than 60% of couples reconcile for one reason or another. So chances are, you might have another go at this relationship. But you need to make sure you use this time apart wisely and fix what needs to be fixed and improve yourself. Remember also that you are not improving yourself because you want them back. You are improving yourself for yourself only.

You are important and your personal development is important as well. Every relationship, every experience is a life lesson that we have to learn. We need to learn from our mistakes and failures and do something about them to move forward so we don’t find ourselves in the same vicious cycle again.

Happy Adorable Couple in Love. Portrait of Young Man and Woman Looking at Each Other. Pair of Romantic Partners on a Date. Boyfriend and Girlfriend

At Never the Right Word, our aim is to give you practical examples of how to handle life’s difficult conversations. If you have an awkward situation that you’d like example templates for, request a topic here.   

If you’re interested in further reading, we’ve also included links to our trusted resources and related posts below. To find out more about NTRW and our recommended tools, you can do that here.  

Lastly, if you found this content helpful or want to share your own examples, let us know in the comments. We’d also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too!

About NTRW

Scripts & Templates for Life’s Uncomfortable Conversations. NTRW is supported by adverts and affiliate marketing links. For more info, please see our Earnings Disclosure.

This site does not constitute legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional. If you have questions please Contact Us.

Never the Right Word

Never the Right Word

Hi there! I’m Amy, and I’m the person behind Never the Right Word. I’m a designer-by-day who’s fascinated by human psychology; you’ll find me learning about what makes others tick through all types of media and good old-fashioned conversation.

In 2019 Never the Right Word was born to fill the gap of ‘how-to’ websites with copy and paste examples showing you EXACTLY what you need to say to steer difficult conversations into positive outcomes.

Popular Articles...

Relevant Books We Recommend...

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships (Paperback)

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships by author John Gray has helped both men and women understand each other and transform their relationships. Now viewed as a classic must-read, this book has helped men and women realize just how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and modes of behavior. Men Are from MarsWomen Are from Venus offers the secrets of communication without conflicts, giving couples the chance to grow a deep and meaningful relationship. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse (Paperback)

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by author Jackson MacKenzie offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has been through a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving deception, infidelity and other forms of abuse. The book works to help the reader heal unresolved pain and safely allow love back into their lives. This is another great book from MacKenzie who has helped millions in their struggle to recover from and understand their experiences of toxic relationships. Topics such as complex PTSD, Narcissistic abuse, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Codependency, Core wounding, toxic shame, and Borderline Personality Disorder are covered in this book. Get your copy of Whole Again by CLICKING HERE.

Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find - and keep - love (Paperback)

An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections. Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love. With fascinating psychological insight, quizzes and case studies, Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognize the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners or improve your existing relationship. Get your copy of Attached by CLICKING HERE.

In Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing by author Dennis C. Ortman, the phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the unfortunate occurrence of cheating in intimate relationships. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to work through conflicting emotions; whilst understanding yourself and your partner and make important life decisions. We like the practical elements this book has to offer and believe this book will be highly beneficial for those suffering the effects of infidelity. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

Pin Never the Right Word on Pinterest!

Like Our Site? These Are the Resources We Recommend.

To build this site we used these highly recommended tried-and-tested tools:

We Trust Elegant Themes

The Elegant Themes membership gives you complete access to 87 amazing themes and 3 awesome plugins, including Divi, the ultimate WordPress Theme and Visual Page builder. Elegant Themes have been building the world's most popular WordPress themes for the past 10 years, and rest assured their products will always be improved and maintained. 

Divi WordPress Theme

We Build With Divi Theme

One of the most popular WordPress themes in the world. Building layouts is easy and fast, making it ideal to create mockups and wireframes, prototyping a design, and creating the website itself. Build from the frontend or backend. The builder is intuitive. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Check out the official Divi Theme here.

Divi Cake is a community driven marketplace for Divi Child Themes, Builder Layouts, and Plugins - Shop Now!

We Customize With Divi Cake Plugins

Divi Cake’s main goal is to help the members of the Divi community find the perfect premium Divi themes, layouts, and plugins created by leading Divi developers and designers. Shop hundreds of premium Divi products like Divi child themes, Divi layouts, and Divi plugins on Divi Cake, the community driven Divi Marketplace. Find out more about Divi Cake here.

We ❤️Shutterstock Media

We get our images from the OG leader in stock assets. Boost your business with the right images. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Footage & Music Libraries. 4k Images Added per Hour. No Daily Download Limit. Speedy Search & Discovery. With flexible plans and countless amounts of premium content uploaded weekly, we couldn't leave Shutterstock off our list.

Skill-Up With LinkedIn Learning

When you want to enhance your professional skills with expert-led, online video tutorials, the only place to go is LinkedIn Learning (Lynda). With a subscription you get 24/7, unlimited access to over 13,000 business, design & tech online courses and with a free month. We like them because we get expert-led courses that we can access anytime, anywhere. What's not to love?

Web Hosting

We're Hosted With SiteGround

SiteGround boasts a whole list of fantastic features at amazingly affordable prices. Along with multiple growth options, free site transfers and domains, built in Content Delivery Network integrations, WordPress support AND human support we wouldn't go to anyone else. They're basically faster, safer and more supportive- you can check them out here.

We Trust Grammarly Premium

Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, that’s why we trust Grammarly Premium. As the World's Most Accurate Online Grammar Checker, Grammarly Premium goes beyond grammar to help you ensure that everything you write is clear, engaging, and professional. Learn more about Grammarly Premium’s AI-powered assistant here.

Find Graphics With Creative Market

Creative Market is the world’s marketplace for design. Bring your creative projects to life with ready-to-use design assets from independent creators around the world. We love the unique finds, social media templates, vectors you name it they have it. I also doesn't hurt that our founder has a little store on there...

Powered by Creative Market

Powered by Creative Market

Contact Us

Email Us

Never the Right Word
Building 19475
PO Box 6945
United Kingdom

Follow NTRW

Support NTRW

Donating to Never the Right Word will
help us produce more content and keep us accessible to all.
Thank you!

Stay in the Loop

error: Content is protected !!

Pin It on Pinterest